I took a break. And the break continued for months, and months, and months. At first it was a few days. And then the habit was broken and the wheels fell off.
So, I won't make any grandiose promises to blog every day, but I am going to blog. At least a few times a week. Sometimes more - sometimes less. No promises.
I am still getting page hits - probably from unsuspecting people looking up preeclampsia or HELLP syndrome. There's a part of me that pities anyone who randomly happens upon my blog in the search for information. I want to reach out to them and tell them everything will be all right - but I have no idea what brought them here. And I can't make that promise.
I am working on a new project now - and it's both fulfilling and heartwrenching. It's going to be a tense tightrope walk - trying to stay above the PTSD/PPD pit. I'm working on a documentary on maternal mortality because approximately 1,000 women die in the US every year from pregnancy-related causes. And 69,000 nearly die. I can't explain - other than looking at the odds, but that seems too clinical - why I am part of the 69k. It's an uncomfortable place to be. It's a reckoning with death that none of us expected - especially when we were so full of life.
We're in the early stages yet and still working on getting set up. I'm excited and apprehensive. It will be tough to go there - to relive the experience and to confront the worst case scenario stories. But, I couldn't say no when the opportunity came up. I am working with Anne Garrett Addison, who founded the Preeclampsia Foundation after her own near-misses.
It's a journey I probably wouldn't have picked for myself - but then eclampsia kind of picked it for me. Thanks eclampsia! You're a big HELLP.